Meaningful Quotes

Sometimes a simple statement can convey more significance about a subject than a treatise. Sometimes a few words, chosen wisely, can distill the very essence of a world-view. Sadly, too often, a funny aside may serve as the only reasonable answer to life's many frustrating questions, muddles and conundrums. Of the volumes of erudite, clever and just plain funny things on record that millions of people have been credited (or disparaged) with, there are a few below that I refer to from time to time when I need a reminder that life is a journey taken on much common ground. These are not arranged or listed according to any theme or in any order of hierarchy. Some are profound. Some are charming. Some are patently absurd. But all have deep meaning, to me.


The perfect is the enemy of the good.
Voltaire

Beware of driving men to desperation. Even a cornered rat is dangerous.
Winston Churchill

If at first an idea does not seem absurd then there is no hope for it.
Albert Einstein

Be wary of great leaders.
Pete Seeger

Any fool can make a rule and any fool will mind it.
Henry David Thoreau

Rules are not necessarily sacred; principles are.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
Oscar Wilde

A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Andy Rooney

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.
Douglas Adams

If you must sin, sin against God, not against the bureaucracy. God may forgive you, but the bureaucracy never will.
Admiral Hyman Rickover

Time is something that was invented to keep everything from happening at once.
Anonymous

If we were all robbed of our wrong convictions, how empty our lives would be.
Samuel Marchbanks

To err is human.......but to blame someone else shows management potential.
Author unknown

Where is the incentive to getting in touch with your feelings if you're going to feel lousy once you're in touch?
Bill Scheft

Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.
Otto von Bismarck

"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
Calvin & Hobbes

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant.
Charles De Gaulle

What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.
Christopher Hitchens

If three or more people agree about a rumour, it must be true.
Anonymous

The future will be better tomorrow.
Dan Quayle

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
Dan Quayle (maybe)

Today is the yesterday you won't remember tomorrow.
Daniel Pinkwater

If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
Frank Kelly Rich

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
George Carlin

We have what it takes to take what you have.
Government slogan

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
George Orwell

Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have.
Gerald Ford

These are my principles; if you don't like them, I have others.
Groucho Marx

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.
H. L. Mencken

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try!
Homer Simpson

Government powerful enough to provide security from all your fears is powerful enough to take away all your freedoms.
Anonymous

Why look for conspiracy when stupidity can explain so much?
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
John Cleese

The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.
J Colonel John P. Stapp, M.D. (Stapp's Ironical Paradox)

"The horror of that moment," the King went on, "I shall never, never forget!" "You will though," the Queen said, "If you don't make a memorandum of it."
Lewis Carroll (Through The Looking Glass)

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Mark Twain

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible; but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary.
Reinhold Niebuhr

If you attack stupidity you attack an entrenched interest with friends in government and every walk of public life, and you will make small progress against it.
Samuel Marchbanks

Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare. Some would say it has yet to occur on earth.
Stephen Hawking (when asked by media about possible extraterrestrial life)

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Winston Churchill

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle--when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.
Sir Roger Bannister

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.
Mario Cuomo

In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.
Andy Warhol

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt