Sometimes a simple statement can convey more significance about a subject than a treatise. Sometimes a few words, chosen wisely, can distill the very essence of a world-view. Sadly, too often, a funny aside may serve as the only reasonable answer to life's many frustrating questions, muddles and conundrums. Of the volumes of erudite, clever and just plain funny things on record that millions of people have been credited (or disparaged) with, there are a few below that I refer to from time to time when I need a reminder that life is a journey taken on much common ground. These are not arranged or listed according to any theme or in any order of hierarchy. Some are profound. Some are charming. Some are patently absurd. But all have deep meaning, to me.
Beware of driving men to desperation. Even a cornered rat is dangerous.
If at first an idea does not seem absurd then there is no hope for it.
Be wary of great leaders.
Any fool can make a rule and any fool will mind it.
Henry David Thoreau
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Rules are not necessarily sacred; principles are.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad
news, which obeys its own special laws.
If you must sin, sin against God, not
against the bureaucracy. God may forgive you, but the bureaucracy never will.
Admiral Hyman Rickover
Time is something that was invented to keep everything
from happening at once.
If we were all robbed of our wrong convictions,
how empty our lives would be.
To err is human.......but
to blame someone else
shows management potential.
Where is the incentive to getting in touch with your
feelings if you're going to feel lousy once you're in touch?
Never believe anything in politics
until it has been officially denied.
Otto von Bismarck
"You know, Hobbes, some days even
my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
Calvin & Hobbes
In order to become the master,
the politician poses as the servant.
Charles De Gaulle
What can be asserted without proof
can be dismissed without proof.
If three or more people agree
about a rumour, it must be true.
The future will be better tomorrow.
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
Dan Quayle (maybe)
Today is the yesterday you
won't remember tomorrow.
If you owe someone money, always pay them
back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
Frank Kelly Rich
May the forces of evil become
confused on the way to your house.
The day after tomorrow is the
third day of the rest of your life.
We have what it takes
to take what you have.
War is peace. Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
Government big enough to supply everything you
need is big enough to take everything you have.
These are my principles; if you
don't like them, I have others.
A society made up of individuals
who were all capable of original
thought would probably be unendurable.
H. L. Mencken
You tried your best
and you failed miserably.
The lesson is, never try!
Government powerful enough to provide security from all
your fears is powerful enough to take away all your freedoms.
Why look for conspiracy when stupidity can explain so much?
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
If God did not intend for us to eat animals,
then why did he make them out of meat?
The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes
any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.
J Colonel John P. Stapp, M.D. (Stapp's Ironical Paradox)
"The horror of that moment," the King
went on, "I shall never, never forget!"
"You will though," the Queen said, "If
you don't make a memorandum of it."
Lewis Carroll (Through The Looking Glass)
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is
being run by smart people who are putting
us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Giving money and power to government is like
giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have
some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible;
but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary.
If you attack stupidity you attack
an entrenched interest with friends
in government and every walk of public life,
and you will make small progress against it.
Primitive life is very common and
intelligent life is fairly rare. Some
would say it has yet to occur on earth.
Stephen Hawking (when asked by media about possible extraterrestrial life)
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen
for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
The best argument against democracy is a
five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun
the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes
up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve.
It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle--when the sun comes up,
you'd better be running.
Sir Roger Bannister
The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.
In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.